I was lying on my back in yoga class as the instructor explained that the position I was in is good for the pancreas and how the pancreas secretes insulin. He went on to ask a diabetic in the class about it and he explained his version of how diabetes comes about. He and the diabetic maligned carbs and suggested that they should be cut out of everyone’s diet completely. I was horrified, yet not surprised as I am used to the extreme solutions bandied around by the world of ‘health’ nowadays. Whatever happened to moderation? Why is it so difficult to achieve?

My dad always says, “Anything in moderation is fine”. This has always been his philosophy to food and exercise and is one of the gifts he gave me while growing up. I do nothing in excess: I balance my food group intake, I drink water, I exercise moderately yet consistently and I make sure that when it comes to food and exercise that my only goal is to enjoy it. If I’m no longer enjoying it then it’s time to do something different.

I get teased for this though. I tell people I swim and they ask how many lengths. They laugh when I tell them. I say I run but I’ve never done a marathon. Yet I am asked all the time how I stay fit and how I maintain my body. My response is simple: I have fun! It is not in my personality to count lengths, laps or distance. I do what I’m doing until the fun stops and then I change my routine. This doesn’t mean that I don’t push myself but I do it unconsciously – to the extent that eventually I look back to realise how much further, longer or harder I am going. In fact, taking the prerequisite of fun it would be impossible for me to not move forward because if it gets too much of the same I get bored and need to do something else.

I stand by and watch supposedly ‘healthy’ people often pushing themselves past what their body can handle causing injury, forcing themselves to eat what they don’t like, and replacing the beauty of food with cardboard-textured meal replacements. It all makes me sad. It wasn’t meant to be like this. There is no longer a relationship with the body. Life has become a competition to be stronger, more ripped, hotter, and ‘healthier’ than anyone else. Truth is, the bodies of health, beauty and sports magazines are not necessarily healthy.

I eat what my body craves. I exercise when my body tells me to exercise and I make sure it is fun. I was coaxed into a spinning class once. As my legs cycled round and round my mind starting questioning the fun so I imagined myself cycling in a forest. Not fun. Then I lost myself in the music. Still not fun. Nothing I did or imagined could make it fun so I told my friend this who responded that she doesn’t find it fun either! Nothing will be sustainable and consistent unless it is fun. In the time slot of the spinning class you will now find me in a strength and fitness class, pulling dance moves to the sounds of remixed Madonna. Now that’s my kind of fun. There is never a struggle to get up for it in the morning. I always look forward to it and I enjoy every moment.

Jodene and I have travelled an interesting journey together. She realised that her relationship with food and, more importantly her body, was unhealthy so she started to watch how I did things and emulate it. Not only was it very frustrating for her as it didn’t work but the damage to her esteem had the opposite effect on her body. That is when she realised that moderation only comes naturally to those with a relationship with their body. The damaged body needs to be taught what it likes, what is good for it, and when enough is enough. She is now on an admirable journey that includes healing an injured back, which was the result of pushing herself too hard. (Follow her journey on her blog ‘project me’).

Similarly I watch people around me injuring themselves by overdoing exercise and many claim that it makes them happy. I have to question the happiness in anything that harms you. The answer is in the world of addiction. A smoker will tell you of the pleasure in lighting up. The drug addict has the euphoria of the high and the drive to take themselves even higher. Similarly people drive themselves towards the high of physical extremes; they push themselves to their physical limits and beyond. That ‘high’ is different for each person but driving beyond the pain is what gives the pleasure. Yet, pain is the body’s cry for help. The more you push ‘past’ the pain, the more you drown out your body’s voice until, eventually, there is no more communication and the relationship breaks down. Soon there is little connection and it is like driving a car with no warning lights on the dash. Eventually it will break down with no warning and when it does, it will be catastrophic.

We are replacing the ‘bad’ addictions (like cigarettes and alcohol) with the ‘good’ addiction of ‘health’. Today’s health industry is based on the shame of the world and drives the addiction to physically be what you were never meant to be. And as you fail to achieve what you are told you should look like you become more ashamed of who you are and the estranged body you live in, only driving the shame and addiction further.

Without the relationship with your body you rely on the advice of others to learn what to eat, how to exercise, how much to exercise and, ultimately what you should look like. These professionals have become necessary because of the constant motivation to fit in; to be like everyone else. The Pro-balance bracelets are further proof of this: eventually sportsmen and women didn’t feel like they fitted in unless they had one and yet there was never any scientific evidence that they worked. At least this health industry innovation did no harm other than to the pockets of those who bought them.

Other revelations, particularly related to diet have had horrendous impact on the world. Each of our bodies is unique, which is the reason for the package inserts with medicine. As much as they have run trials on various people, the company has not tested it on you and so they cannot be completely certain of how you will react. Diet is the same. There is no one way to eat. Most professional dieticians know this but the people in the street follow each other’s formula, giving certain foods a bad name.

Re-establishing your relationship with your poor body can be a long process and is all about consciousness. Be aware of how you feel after you eat, when you haven’t eaten for a while, what you experience when you eat a lot of sugar. Use products and professionals to guide you to once again know the meaning of moderation. And remember, this will be your formula. It will be what moderation means to you so don’t tell others to follow the same recipe.

Be good to you and your body – you spend a lifetime together.

As we stand on the threshold of 2011…

Be prepared for the future but don’t plan. Everything can change in the next second so what’s the point? Don’t set goals, you’ll only be disappointed. Instead, have purpose, even if it is merely to have fun and do only that which makes you happy.

If you always feel the need to do something, do nothing and if you generally do nothing, do something. The change will set in motion more than you can imagine.

When you ask someone for advice, remember that you will get their version. Make it your own before choosing to follow it.

Eat because you enjoy it but never eat anything in excess. Moderation and consistency with food and exercise are the greatest gifts you can give your body. Strive to be happy and healthy and not for the perfect look because the look of beauty and sports magazines is not healthy. (continue reading…)

I love the stage. I’m on one given any opportunity. I’ve been acting since standard 5 (grade 7). In fact, my friends tell me I’m always on stage but they exaggerate. I’m not that dramatic.

One of the things that draws me to performing is the adrenalin rush. Standing backstage as the opening music begins to play, the audience settles down to silence and the lights dim, my heart races, my pores become damp (I know – it’s beautiful), and I can’t stand still. My words and dance moves are racing through my head as I calm my ego down by telling it that I’ve done it before and I have fun regardless of whether I commit a boo-boo. I have been known to exit stage left when the rest of the company waits for me to start the next introduction. (continue reading…)

A little while back I wrote a piece on the South African psyche of not having faith in our ourselves that we will get things right (see Greg’s View on Fun). We always look forward and assume that we will mess it up, which the media then laps up and spews out there.

The pendulum has now swung to the other extreme. Now no negative press is tolerated by South Africans regarding the Soccer World Cup. We are now in a panacea of perfection and efficiency, despite actual experience. My experience is an example. I am aware that my comments may be seen by some as “afro-pessimism” or negative but it is a factual account of what happened. I also must point out a feature of my personality where I get frustrated when I see that things designed to achieve something are not being utilised properly.

Here is my experience of the opening game. (continue reading…)

“Let’s just be friends”…the four words that many people dread while dating. They’re used as an easy escape – a way out of a difficult situation where one likes the other more. They’re spoken by cowards who are too afraid to hurt the other. They’re uttered when there is no intention of seeing each other again. This is sad because there’s nothing “just” about being friends.

Dating sites are interesting playgrounds. All types, including the shy and downright socially anxious, can get to mingle with others in total anonymity, often not even revealing what they look like. They can chat, flirt, propose meetings and fantasise (which is often what the proposed meetings are anyway).

Yet there are those who get upset by the playground. I have heard of people who throw malicious comments at others when they are rejected honestly. There is frustration when they have not found “the one” after being on the site for a “more than reasonable length of time”. Then there is that moment when you pluck up the courage to meet someone and they look nothing like their pictures, or the pictures are from the days before they put on 20 kg and 10 years. There is deception everywhere: we deceive ourselves daily otherwise we would not be living in this illusion we call life. And yet we expect everyone to be completely truthful…there are always skeletons in the closet! Sometimes that skeleton is 20 kg.

Playing the single game on dating websites (okay, that’s not entirely correct because some couples play the game too) should be fun. How do you make it fun? By making it completely goalless. The stress is only introduced by expectations, created by you, to meet the one you’ve just written to, to date the one you’ve just winked at, to have sex with the one who just winked back and/or marry the one you just had an awesome chat to. (The “and/or” is intentional because often all these expectations co-exist at one time).

Have you watched two toddlers meeting for the first time? Notice how they relate with no expectations. They giggle, cuddle, smile, kiss and sometimes push and bash in innocence with no expectation of friendship, marriage or sex. Notice how it is so easy for them, devoid of the anxiety of losing the other, upsetting them or never seeing them again. They just have their fun in the moment and then they part. Just like that. Simple.

The whole spectrum of relating is special and if we can play in this space, including the online dating space, like toddlers then we’ll begin to see just how simple it actually is. Have fun, whatever your definition of that is, and you’ll get everything that you desire because all you truly desire, deep down, is happiness and fun.