I love the stage. I’m on one given any opportunity. I’ve been acting since standard 5 (grade 7). In fact, my friends tell me I’m always on stage but they exaggerate. I’m not that dramatic.

One of the things that draws me to performing is the adrenalin rush. Standing backstage as the opening music begins to play, the audience settles down to silence and the lights dim, my heart races, my pores become damp (I know – it’s beautiful), and I can’t stand still. My words and dance moves are racing through my head as I calm my ego down by telling it that I’ve done it before and I have fun regardless of whether I commit a boo-boo. I have been known to exit stage left when the rest of the company waits for me to start the next introduction. (continue reading…)

A little while back I wrote a piece on the South African psyche of not having faith in our ourselves that we will get things right (see Greg’s View on Fun). We always look forward and assume that we will mess it up, which the media then laps up and spews out there.

The pendulum has now swung to the other extreme. Now no negative press is tolerated by South Africans regarding the Soccer World Cup. We are now in a panacea of perfection and efficiency, despite actual experience. My experience is an example. I am aware that my comments may be seen by some as “afro-pessimism” or negative but it is a factual account of what happened. I also must point out a feature of my personality where I get frustrated when I see that things designed to achieve something are not being utilised properly.

Here is my experience of the opening game. (continue reading…)

“Let’s just be friends”…the four words that many people dread while dating. They’re used as an easy escape – a way out of a difficult situation where one likes the other more. They’re spoken by cowards who are too afraid to hurt the other. They’re uttered when there is no intention of seeing each other again. This is sad because there’s nothing “just” about being friends.

Dating sites are interesting playgrounds. All types, including the shy and downright socially anxious, can get to mingle with others in total anonymity, often not even revealing what they look like. They can chat, flirt, propose meetings and fantasise (which is often what the proposed meetings are anyway).

Yet there are those who get upset by the playground. I have heard of people who throw malicious comments at others when they are rejected honestly. There is frustration when they have not found “the one” after being on the site for a “more than reasonable length of time”. Then there is that moment when you pluck up the courage to meet someone and they look nothing like their pictures, or the pictures are from the days before they put on 20 kg and 10 years. There is deception everywhere: we deceive ourselves daily otherwise we would not be living in this illusion we call life. And yet we expect everyone to be completely truthful…there are always skeletons in the closet! Sometimes that skeleton is 20 kg.

Playing the single game on dating websites (okay, that’s not entirely correct because some couples play the game too) should be fun. How do you make it fun? By making it completely goalless. The stress is only introduced by expectations, created by you, to meet the one you’ve just written to, to date the one you’ve just winked at, to have sex with the one who just winked back and/or marry the one you just had an awesome chat to. (The “and/or” is intentional because often all these expectations co-exist at one time).

Have you watched two toddlers meeting for the first time? Notice how they relate with no expectations. They giggle, cuddle, smile, kiss and sometimes push and bash in innocence with no expectation of friendship, marriage or sex. Notice how it is so easy for them, devoid of the anxiety of losing the other, upsetting them or never seeing them again. They just have their fun in the moment and then they part. Just like that. Simple.

The whole spectrum of relating is special and if we can play in this space, including the online dating space, like toddlers then we’ll begin to see just how simple it actually is. Have fun, whatever your definition of that is, and you’ll get everything that you desire because all you truly desire, deep down, is happiness and fun.

The whole purpose of life is to experience the pull between ego and soul.

I was reading through one of Jodene’s blog posts and the responses to it and I was overwhelmed by the propensity we have to pontificate over peace, happiness, eternal love and joy … concepts that the soul is only too familiar with. So why do we seek this with such vigour when we are here to experience the pain, anxiety, fear and confusion that comes with having both the ego and the soul? They are so a part of the experience of life: these moments that we so naturally dread and wish to avoid. They give perspective and balance. Without these experiences life would be a monotone of even keel nothingness. We would move from one day to the next expecting nothing but the usual happiness and peace … fooled into believing that we should always focus on the positive and pay no attention to the other side; the side so vital to the experience of life … the side that will give you growth.

Approaching the moments of confusion, pain and anxiety with innocence and the same enthusiasm that we have for the good times is the greatest gift we can give ourselves. Without them the journey would not be the amazing adventure it is.

Have fun … or not. Both states are special.

2010 can be fun – it’s our choice.

Sometimes one of the hardest things to do is have fun. We find every possible reason not to.

Next year South Africa hosts the World Cup. The country has been abuzz with talk of “2010” for four years now. For four years we’ve been looking forward to hosting the biggest event on the sporting calendar. Yet we have yet to get excited. We have yet to start enjoying the fact that we will be the centre of the sporting stage in a year’s time. There is still concern that we will not be able to host it; until recently we even believed that there was a chance that FIFA would move the event. Newspaper reports still focus on the reasons why we will not be able to host a successful event even though FIFA is confident.

Last Saturday a journalist pointed out that there are still no good news stories going around on how South Africa has almost completed the stadia, has upgraded transport systems and is successfully hosting the Confederations Cup. No, instead the papers are filled with the news that the Egyptian soccer team’s hotel rooms were robbed, once again highlighting the crime in the country, despite reports on how this has happened across the world at large sporting events.

So when does the fun begin? When do we start enjoying being the centre of attention and hosting such a great event? We should start before we miss it.

How’s the event you’re hosting that you call “life”? No matter what is happening it should be fun. Even the low points hold anticipation of the high. It is so tempting to take life seriously but it is more refreshing to just let all things go and to approach the days with innocence, purity and trust. Choosing fun does not mean then that you have control of the outcome though, which actually makes it more fun because you never know what will happen! Just as we don’t know how the World Cup will go. All we know is that we can choose to enjoy it!

So choose fun today, tomorrow and in 2010. And enjoy not knowing the outcome.