As we stand on the threshold of 2011…

Be prepared for the future but don’t plan. Everything can change in the next second so what’s the point? Don’t set goals, you’ll only be disappointed. Instead, have purpose, even if it is merely to have fun and do only that which makes you happy.

If you always feel the need to do something, do nothing and if you generally do nothing, do something. The change will set in motion more than you can imagine.

When you ask someone for advice, remember that you will get their version. Make it your own before choosing to follow it.

Eat because you enjoy it but never eat anything in excess. Moderation and consistency with food and exercise are the greatest gifts you can give your body. Strive to be happy and healthy and not for the perfect look because the look of beauty and sports magazines is not healthy. (continue reading…)

Last night was not a good night. First my dry, sore throat woke me up (the consequence of blocked sinuses from a head cold), then oppressive heat wouldn’t allow me to sleep, followed by a persistent mosquito (why is there always just that one?), and then my two Jack Russells joined me on the bed because of thunder.

This ‘chaos’ brought on an interesting dream. In my house I have a wall covered in mirrors of various shapes and sizes. In wandering around my house I noticed that this wall was now blank…the mirrors all lay shattered on the floor. Immediately I was angry and searching for someone to blame but, as I walked around the house, I started to realise that it wasn’t actually mine…that it is all a dream and that I have the power to pull myself out of it.

This dream comes at a really significant time for me as I realise and deal with some shame that is being covered by an addiction in relating. (continue reading…)

Change is all about you. “Be the change you want to see in the world” is Mahatma Ghandi’s overused quote. Overused maybe but definitely not to be sneezed at.

Many years ago a relationship I had had all of my life became rocky. I began to suspect her of ulterior motives, of not supporting me, and of having a different attitude to me. My relationship with her deteriorated to such an extent that I did nothing but fight with her. One day I even pulled her aside accusing her of not supporting me in my intimate relationships. She could say nothing right. Times were so rough for me that I was seeing a psychologist at the time and so I sought his counsel on this imploding relationship. He took me on a journey that altered my perception of the person and the situation. As I began to see things differently I noticed that the only aspect of my relationship with her that had changed was how I was seeing her, nothing else. She was the same person I had always known. By changing my perception I changed the relationship back to what it was. “She” is my mom.

So a new campaign that has launched in South Africa has caught my attention. It stands above other initiatives because it is a call for every South African to stand up and lead by example. We’re an interesting bunch in this country where we are quick to drive away from a dinner party over the alcohol limit, yet complain when we are then asked for a bribe by the police officer who pulls us over. Both actions are against the law but we play victim and choose which is acceptable depending on who committed it. Lead SA is encouraging each person to be the leader of their own life and to recognise that changing your attitudes and actions, even as small as smiling and greeting people, changes your world and will then have an impact on the country. Good on you, Primedia, for a campaign that starts with individuals, because each person is the centre of their own world and change starts with them.

Be the change. See its effects. Lead SA.

P.S. I love you mom

Every year I make a big thing of my birthday. I use the opportunity to see all my friends and to throw them all together at a function that is all about me. And I love it! I always have.

Birthdays are also about change. Each birthday heralds the start of my own new year. Numerologists will tell you how the number of the year you are in, which influences your challenges and experiences, clicks over one notch on your birthday. I feel that notch click over and sometimes that feeling is a little uncomfortable. This year is no different. I feel like I am standing on the edge of a cliff and only have to throw myself off to realise my dreams. So I see my dreams and that makes me excited but there is also a cliff that I have to throw myself off of first. Shit.

So I have decided to take my birthday week off (yes, I always celebrate a birthday week). Well, pretty much. I think the experts would say I’m frozen in fear. Or they would tell me I’m procrastinating but, you see, I am always way to hard on myself so I’ve decided that this is a perfectly good thing to do when there is chaos: sit in the midst of the chaos and be still. Oh, and then throw a party. It has been a very emotional space so, to be honest, working would be difficult given the frequent breakdowns. Okay, I maybe exaggerate a little…but only a little.

I know I will jump. I just want to turn 35 first! Happy birthday to me.

If one day you should find yourself standing on the edge of a cliff asking yourself how you got to this point and why it is that you’re thinking of jumping, what would be your response? “My dreams never entered my reality and so there was nothing to live for”? We all go through stages of frustration and pointlessness. I can see you nodding. But do you understand why, when all around you everything appears the same? That’s exactly it: everything is the same and that is what is frustrating. In order for the reality to be the dream, we need to allow the change. And sometimes all that is required is that we let go of the old reality so that the change can happen.

Look at the world from your own paradigm…change is what happens when no one is looking. Because at that point, no one is holding on to the past out of fear. No one is sufficiently focussed to fear. Fear resides in the head – it is our own mental creation. Distract it and the change will happen such that we arrive at the other side quite bewildered as to how we got there.

And so the generations renew the planet through change. The young don’t like the way of the elderly and the elderly don’t like what the youth get up to. The reason is to effect change. Fears are still transferred from one generation to the next; pointless, irrational fears. Pointless and irrational because they were created and owned by the generation before and so do not belong. Yet we, because of our own fear, choose to hang on to these fears and this is what is called the “collective unconscious”, the great energy grid that connects us all (see the hundredth monkey syndrome). Yet, that collective unconscious serves a positive purpose too as everything in this world is neutral: it mirrors your fears in order for you to see them. We wouldn’t be able to see what we looked like if there was nothing to reflect us and so we would find it very difficult to drop all our illusions if we had nothing to show us what they are. And life can be an illusion, lived in the head with very little truth but then lies are what we will attract.

Be strong and look in the mirror that is your world and you will see what you are holding on to. Drop all that and you will live your dream. If we all do that then the planet will live its dream too.