Every year I make a big thing of my birthday. I use the opportunity to see all my friends and to throw them all together at a function that is all about me. And I love it! I always have.

Birthdays are also about change. Each birthday heralds the start of my own new year. Numerologists will tell you how the number of the year you are in, which influences your challenges and experiences, clicks over one notch on your birthday. I feel that notch click over and sometimes that feeling is a little uncomfortable. This year is no different. I feel like I am standing on the edge of a cliff and only have to throw myself off to realise my dreams. So I see my dreams and that makes me excited but there is also a cliff that I have to throw myself off of first. Shit.

So I have decided to take my birthday week off (yes, I always celebrate a birthday week). Well, pretty much. I think the experts would say I’m frozen in fear. Or they would tell me I’m procrastinating but, you see, I am always way to hard on myself so I’ve decided that this is a perfectly good thing to do when there is chaos: sit in the midst of the chaos and be still. Oh, and then throw a party. It has been a very emotional space so, to be honest, working would be difficult given the frequent breakdowns. Okay, I maybe exaggerate a little…but only a little.

I know I will jump. I just want to turn 35 first! Happy birthday to me.