You and me could write a bad romance
by Greg Arthur on Oct.14, 2010, under God has a life too
My blog entry “when 95% is not enough” got an amazing response and seemed to strike a chord within the hearts and minds of many of you. For me though, that realisation has not been enough and I know that some of you can relate. It is all good and well to end a relationship but that does not end the love we have for the other – that love doesn’t go away, nor should it.
In practice, my mind (which is so my ego) needs to work out what to do with this love and the beautiful memories it holds from the relationship. It tries to trash them by focusing on my ex’s faults and making them bigger than they are (especially when those perceived “faults” now have less impact on me), or it builds frustration that the relationship could not be the 100% that I know I want and can have, or it seeks to re-create the relationship. (continue reading…)
A hell of a story
by Greg Arthur on Sep.30, 2010, under Greg's View on the World
“That’s a hell of a story” were his words to me as I finished relating my journey of sexual discovery to him. “Is it?” I thought.
Despite having sung together for weeks, we had never really connected and then we had another singer join us and that brought us together. Nicholas and I began to discover things about each other that one would have thought we should have known by now. Take for instance the fact that he lives up the road from me. The pianist has been giving him a lift when I have almost been driving past his house every time I’ve headed to rehearsal!
How often do we engage with people and yet know nothing about them? Nic and I went for beers after the last rehearsal, spontaneously – the way I like it. I began to realise how much we have in common and how, given the opportunity, we all have a story to tell. We all have “a hell of a story” to tell, in fact. (continue reading…)
That feeling inside; that’s called ‘satisfied’
by Greg Arthur on Sep.16, 2010, under Greg's View on the World
Recently a friend asked me whether I believe that we are born to love. We were listening to Jewel singing “Satisfied” at the time and these are the lyrics that sparked the question: “We were born to love. Did you say it? Did you mean it? Did you lay it all on the line?” My response was that I believe in the whole message rather than only the first sentence.
“We were born to love” gets thrown around so much today and has become so misinterpreted. Society portrays love as Hollywood romance and Disney family relationships, when one of the keys to love is truth. If you love someone there should be no reservation to telling them how you feel, even if it sometimes hurts them. After all, love is a knowing: it is a feeling deep inside that you can’t put into words. I go so far as to say that it is your own creation as you choose to love and only you know how it feels, and so only you can change it. We are so afraid of losing that feeling; many of us love the whole idea of love because of that feeling. Yet that is the one thing that no one can take away. We may lose the object of our love but there is nothing in our way from re-creating that feeling with someone else. Letting go should be easy and does not mean that we love the other any less. Love is not always enough to justify staying in a relationship. (continue reading…)
When 95% is not enough
by Greg Arthur on Sep.06, 2010, under Greg's View on the World
My last intimate relationship had 95% of what I am looking for. We love each other dearly, we are truthful with each other, we have fun together and there is a strong attraction but there is something missing. We both know what it is and its nature means it cannot be overcome without drastic change on both sides.
I believe that 100% perfect relationships exist. You see evidence of it around you: couples who have spent a lifetime together who still enjoy making love to each other, doing things together and talking things through truthfully, as much as it may sometimes hurt. I’ve seen it; I know it exists and I know that I can have it.
But surely 95% is enough? Am I being idealist or greedy? (continue reading…)
Shut up and love me
by Greg Arthur on Aug.30, 2010, under God has a life too
There are people who do not use their words. They find it difficult to express matters of the heart and yet I prefer it that way. So often I have been disillusioned and disappointed by guys who have said the most beautiful things. Then there were those with nothing worthwhile to say; they really shouldn’t have said anything. Is it becoming clearer how I despise the limitation and deception of words? One of my favourite songs is Ronan Keating’s “You say it best when you say nothing at all”.
I have always preferred non-verbal communication to the bastardised and crude spoken word. So writing has been a really interesting experience for me because there is nothing more than damn words, but that’s the subject of another blog.
People do not have to tell me they love me. Yet such loving people surround me. Together we face our fears. They choose me to do brave things with for the first time. They wink at me across the table in restaurants. They smile encouragingly when I need the support. So I don’t care that the word “love” may never pass their lips because love shines from their eyes, is written all over their actions and sits in their hearts for all to see. Well, for all those who can look beyond the words and see what lies behind.
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