There are people who do not use their words. They find it difficult to express matters of the heart and yet I prefer it that way. So often I have been disillusioned and disappointed by guys who have said the most beautiful things. Then there were those with nothing worthwhile to say; they really shouldn’t have said anything. Is it becoming clearer how I despise the limitation and deception of words? One of my favourite songs is Ronan Keating’s “You say it best when you say nothing at all”.

I have always preferred non-verbal communication to the bastardised and crude spoken word. So writing has been a really interesting experience for me because there is nothing more than damn words, but that’s the subject of another blog.

People do not have to tell me they love me. Yet such loving people surround me. Together we face our fears. They choose me to do brave things with for the first time. They wink at me across the table in restaurants. They smile encouragingly when I need the support. So I don’t care that the word “love” may never pass their lips because love shines from their eyes, is written all over their actions and sits in their hearts for all to see. Well, for all those who can look beyond the words and see what lies behind.

I love the stage. I’m on one given any opportunity. I’ve been acting since standard 5 (grade 7). In fact, my friends tell me I’m always on stage but they exaggerate. I’m not that dramatic.

One of the things that draws me to performing is the adrenalin rush. Standing backstage as the opening music begins to play, the audience settles down to silence and the lights dim, my heart races, my pores become damp (I know – it’s beautiful), and I can’t stand still. My words and dance moves are racing through my head as I calm my ego down by telling it that I’ve done it before and I have fun regardless of whether I commit a boo-boo. I have been known to exit stage left when the rest of the company waits for me to start the next introduction. (continue reading…)

Change is all about you. “Be the change you want to see in the world” is Mahatma Ghandi’s overused quote. Overused maybe but definitely not to be sneezed at.

Many years ago a relationship I had had all of my life became rocky. I began to suspect her of ulterior motives, of not supporting me, and of having a different attitude to me. My relationship with her deteriorated to such an extent that I did nothing but fight with her. One day I even pulled her aside accusing her of not supporting me in my intimate relationships. She could say nothing right. Times were so rough for me that I was seeing a psychologist at the time and so I sought his counsel on this imploding relationship. He took me on a journey that altered my perception of the person and the situation. As I began to see things differently I noticed that the only aspect of my relationship with her that had changed was how I was seeing her, nothing else. She was the same person I had always known. By changing my perception I changed the relationship back to what it was. “She” is my mom.

So a new campaign that has launched in South Africa has caught my attention. It stands above other initiatives because it is a call for every South African to stand up and lead by example. We’re an interesting bunch in this country where we are quick to drive away from a dinner party over the alcohol limit, yet complain when we are then asked for a bribe by the police officer who pulls us over. Both actions are against the law but we play victim and choose which is acceptable depending on who committed it. Lead SA is encouraging each person to be the leader of their own life and to recognise that changing your attitudes and actions, even as small as smiling and greeting people, changes your world and will then have an impact on the country. Good on you, Primedia, for a campaign that starts with individuals, because each person is the centre of their own world and change starts with them.

Be the change. See its effects. Lead SA.

P.S. I love you mom

Life is like a puzzle but without the picture on the box to guide you. Slowly over time you put pieces together to see if they fit. You try different pieces, you turn them around, you look at the colours on their surface and their shape. If they don’t fit together you start the search again. Over time you start to see a picture emerging but often the full picture is not clear until you triumphantly slot the last piece into its place.

Part of my nature is to automatically see the big picture in every situation – it is what comes with choosing a visionary archetype. This quality is revered by today’s society as everyone looks up to the visionaries of each generation, yet there is just as much value in seeing the little things and loving and appreciating them. (continue reading…)

Some things throw me to the fire – they challenge me like never before. Then I stand still. I wait for the fire to die. I wait for the challenge to go away and for everything to become easy again. Why do I wait?

I have one of those situations at the moment. I’m in the midst of a fire that is burning hot. It is branding my skin and is raging through my life. I try to deny it. I make it go away … briefly … until I feel the burning again. That burning is the reminder that I have not acknowledged its warmth.

I love people for who they are and what they are capable of being. This can lead to disappointment when they choose not to reach that potential or to be who they truly are. Yet that is beautiful too in that it shows the value of choice and how we all have a side that is powerful, strong and yet…hidden.

I prefer to keep a part of me hidden too. (continue reading…)