“That’s a hell of a story” were his words to me as I finished relating my journey of sexual discovery to him. “Is it?” I thought.

Despite having sung together for weeks, we had never really connected and then we had another singer join us and that brought us together. Nicholas and I began to discover things about each other that one would have thought we should have known by now. Take for instance the fact that he lives up the road from me. The pianist has been giving him a lift when I have almost been driving past his house every time I’ve headed to rehearsal!

How often do we engage with people and yet know nothing about them? Nic and I went for beers after the last rehearsal, spontaneously – the way I like it. I began to realise how much we have in common and how, given the opportunity, we all have a story to tell. We all have “a hell of a story” to tell, in fact. (continue reading…)

Recently a friend asked me whether I believe that we are born to love. We were listening to Jewel singing “Satisfied” at the time and these are the lyrics that sparked the question: “We were born to love. Did you say it? Did you mean it? Did you lay it all on the line?” My response was that I believe in the whole message rather than only the first sentence.

“We were born to love” gets thrown around so much today and has become so misinterpreted. Society portrays love as Hollywood romance and Disney family relationships, when one of the keys to love is truth. If you love someone there should be no reservation to telling them how you feel, even if it sometimes hurts them. After all, love is a knowing: it is a feeling deep inside that you can’t put into words. I go so far as to say that it is your own creation as you choose to love and only you know how it feels, and so only you can change it. We are so afraid of losing that feeling; many of us love the whole idea of love because of that feeling. Yet that is the one thing that no one can take away. We may lose the object of our love but there is nothing in our way from re-creating that feeling with someone else. Letting go should be easy and does not mean that we love the other any less. Love is not always enough to justify staying in a relationship. (continue reading…)

My last intimate relationship had 95% of what I am looking for. We love each other dearly, we are truthful with each other, we have fun together and there is a strong attraction but there is something missing. We both know what it is and its nature means it cannot be overcome without drastic change on both sides.

I believe that 100% perfect relationships exist. You see evidence of it around you: couples who have spent a lifetime together who still enjoy making love to each other, doing things together and talking things through truthfully, as much as it may sometimes hurt. I’ve seen it; I know it exists and I know that I can have it.

But surely 95% is enough? Am I being idealist or greedy? (continue reading…)