There are two parts to all of us. We travel through life as both Soul and Ego. Soul is brave, lives in the present, loves unconditionally and is everything and everyone. Soul…well…just is.

Ego loves us dearly and all it wants is for us to be safe. As a result, ego wants us not to change and grow. It wants to keep things as they are because it is known and safe. It wants to control everything to ensure that there are never any surprises.

The soul and the ego are connected by a bridge. The closer the two are to each other the stronger the bridge. If they grow apart the bridge starts to crumble and can eventually fall away completely, resulting in a kind of split personality, where they appear to be different people and one cannot relate to the other, even carrying different memory.

This bridge is fragile and needs to be nurtured. Keep the ego close but see it as the movie it is meant to be. Listen to your gut… listen to soul. It is not possible to live completely in soul and still be in the body so this is not the aim. Keep the bridge strong between the two and you will grow. The bridge is the love you have for you, like the glue holding a healthy relationship together.

The story of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde is a good analogy. Dr Jekyll is a likeable and kind man with many friends, but he has a dark side. He takes a potion to bring this dark side, which he calls Mr Hyde, to life. Over time though the potion becomes unnecessary and Mr Hyde takes on a life of his own, being a cruel, bitter and remorseless being. Jung always spoke of not ignoring your shadow and this story represents the dire consequences of not heeding this advice.

So, ensure you give your Mr Hyde his dues. Nurture the ego without becoming it, because you are Dr Jekyll. Always remember who you truly are and not who everyone else wants you to be.

You can see that this is all about how you relate with you. This influences how you relate with others and contributes to what is happening in relationships in the world today. While you lack love for yourself the bridge is long and fragile and you do a lot to be what others want of you. This is how people lose themselves in relationships. Work on you first. Get that bridge shorter. Ensure that ego and soul are happy bed buddies and then you can reach out and relate to others in a way that will be healthy and fun for you.

Valentine’s Day 2010. How was that day for you? Did you try to ignore it, ignore it with vehement purpose, or indulge in all the schmaltz that is commercial Valentine’s in the modern world?

I had a mix of a day. I had lunch with a guy who is special because of the chilled easiness with which he approaches relating. We had great fun. Then, in the evening, I joined a group of gay single boys (and one couple who managed to sneak in, along with a fantastic girl) for a non-Valentine’s party. We socialised a little and then went to watch Hollywood’s latest version of what I call “American vomit”: the movie “Valentine’s Day”. Interestingly most of my group loved it. It made me sick.

I have often wondered why romantic comedies (American ones in particular) do not appeal to me. Okay, that was polite, repulse me is more accurate. It’s because they symbolise a lot of what I do NOT want in a relationship.

Firstly there’s the “what are we?” aspect. Seeking to define something so special and beautiful does not sit well. (Okay, I also do it but try to keep it in the head where it originates and not let it out into the world. )

Then there’s the “I can’t tell him that because that will hurt him too much” element and all the drama that goes with it. Lying is not an option when I relate because I respect people as the strong resilient beings they are who can take the truth with the love with which I give it. As can I.

And then there is the “our love is for ever and ever” component, which is so misunderstood. Love is forever…but that doesn’t mean that you will remain a devoted couple for the rest of your life. In love, and because of love, it may be best for you to part. Why is that always made out to be the worst thing on the planet?

Surprisingly, after having said all of this, I am a romantic and I know I will relate with many special people along the way. But it will always be me relating and not the me that the world expects. Everyone’s world would be a better place if we all did.

Check out this news clip from my favourite news source. I love The Onion! Satire identifies the truth and puts it out there for everyone to see. People laugh because they relate and see how ridiculous the truth is but few, sadly, do anything about it.

Have fun!

New Law Would Ban Marriages Between People Who Don’t Love Each Other

Tiger Woods is a world-champion golfer. He is admired for his dedication and skill on the course and his humility and personality off the course. His fame started because of his extraordinary skill in golf.

Susan Boyle was a little known woman in Scotland until she entered a talent competition and wowed the judges with her singing voice. She has a talent for singing. So do many others.

South African President Jacob Zuma was put forward by the winning party of the last election as their candidate for president. He was touted as a “president of the people”, in touch with the masses and an example to the youth.

Tiger Woods has recently been exposed for having numerous affairs during his marriage; Susan Boyle has been having “breakdowns” and mistreating people; and Jacob Zuma, a polygamist by culture, is said to have fathered 20 illegitimate children. And the world is horrified and exclaims: “How could these perfect examples of good morals do such things? They should be ashamed and apologise to all who idolise and adore them!”

Woods is a professional golfer. Boyle is a singer. Zuma is a president. These are their roles. Why are we looking for them to be the perfect example of what we are not? If I had to judge myself by similar standards I would fail dismally, especially since what I do often contradicts what society deems good behaviour.

Please understand that, while I may not condone the behaviour of these individuals, I choose to focus on what expectations we, as society, have placed on these people. We chose to make them the people they are not and so we should happily accept them when they show the people they are.